Chapter 1: Oath ın Peach GardenEdit
- Liu Bei,
Guan Yu, and Zhang Fei:Although we were born on different days, we hope to die in the same hour of the same day of the same year. On our very souls, we pledge that this will be true.
- Zhang Fei:So, do this make us
Super Best Friends now?
- Liu Bei’s Mom:Alright you punks, get
out of my house. A bunch of rebels are running around causing trouble, and you need to make something of yourself, so go kill them all. Don’t come back until your house is bigger than mine.
- Liu Bei:Hey guys, guess what?
We’re going to go end the Yellow Turban Rebellion!
- Guan Yu:That sounds like a good
time. I suppose your mother gave us everything we need to start a war? Liu Bei: Hmmm...looks like all we have is three Flails, two Robes, and a Dagger. That sounds like enough. Let’s go save the Han!
- Guan Yu and Zhang
- Liu Bei:
What’s the matter, guys? Guan Yu: Look, we’re not going to be saving anything if that’s all we’ve got. I mean, to even stand a chance, we’d need a wealthy merchant willing to spend all their money on soldiers and a couple of bottom-of- the-barrel officers with nothing to lose.
- Zhang Shi Ping:Hi! I’m a wealthy
merchant willing to spend all my money on soldiers!
- Song Yong and Song
Ren:Hi! We’re a couple of bottom-of-the-barrel officers with nothing to lose!
- Liu Bei:You were saying?
- Guan Yu:I hate you so much.
After some shopping and equipping, the brothers and their ragtag army leave town to march to Xuzhou. When suddenly...
- Rebel Force:Hey, we’re going to
attack you now. Prepare to die.
- Zhang Fei:Oh great, enemies
already. I’m sure we’ll never see these guys again. Liu Bei and co. slowly defeat some of the Rebel Forces.
- Liu Bei:Isn’t there a faster
way to do this? Like, I dunno, some kind of all- out attack?
- Song Yong and Song
Ren:You mean something that would make the battles go by quicker? No such thing. Liu Bei and his army reach Xuzhou, and proceed to steal everything from people’s houses that could possibly be used. One of these people actually speaks to Liu Bei.
- Mi Zhe:Is there a reason you’re
stealing my stuff?
- Liu Bei:We need it in order to
fight the Yellow Turbans. Want to join our army?
- Mi Zhe:Oh sure, I was tired of
living anyway. Liu Bei goes to meet Tao Qian, the ruler of Xuzhou.
- Tao Qian:Ah, Liu Bei. I hear you
want to defeat the Yellow Turbans. I have tried for many years to do so, but I fear I am becoming too old.
- Liu Bei:But the Yellow Turbans
have only been around for a few months or so.
- Tao Qian:....quiet, you. Anyway, if
you manage to defeat them, I will give you my castle.
- Zhang Fei:
You’re just an old man. What’s stopping us from killing you right now and taking the castle ourselves?
- Tao Qian:
Er...because, then you would not be fufilling the fate of new Emperor.
- Liu Bei:Ooh, that sounds
important. We should do what he says.
- Zhang Fei:Wait, what? No. You
haven’t explained anything. You can’t just say random things like that and expect--
- Tao Qian:Or I could just send the
guards after you.
- Guan Yu:That works for me.
Liu Bei’s army marches north to liberate Qingzhou from the Yellow Turbans.